1) Putting speakers "flush" up with the walls will sound like crap no matter how you dress it up. Period. Don't do it. Good floorstanders like the RC-70s need at least 2 feet of clearance; I'd give 'em 3.
2) Enclosing a speaker will create cave-like echoes. You can put port-plugs in and lose the bass, but echoing will still be an issue and your first-reflections will be horrid. Again, to keep a wife happy is one reason; to have a system sound good is something completely different.
3) In-ceiling speakers are pretty much without use. In a patio deck or something where there aren't other options and good sound isn't an issue, you use them, but in a theatre-room it's a sin. Sound should come at you from it's proper location at ear-level. When it comes down from the ceiling, there's simply no soundstage and your brain gets confused.
I guess what I'm saying is: get a divorce.