In terms of the auto-on of your subwoofer, if you are using this auto feature, know that the sub's electronics are awaiting a certain voltage level prior to switching on. This is predetermined at the factory. If your sub is not switching on at lower volumes, try jacking up the receiver's sub out (in the on screen menu system) and lowering the sub's actual volume control to compensate (so the overall bass loudness doesn't run you out of the room). This will cause the sub to 'kick on' earlier without you having to bump the volume way up to do so.
Yes, receiver ratings are horribly liberal these days. They not only give a 'total power' number, but it's typically computed by multiplying the receiver's output at ONE channel at 1kHz x the number of channels. A typical reciever will not deliver anywhere close to this rated output.
Proper receiver ratings should be XXX watts per channel FIVE (or seven) channels operating, from 20-20,000 Hz, no more than .01% Total Harmonic Distortion. This was the standard back in the 70's and 80's but since moving to multiple channel systems, something had to go, usually it's the power supply and that causes power output to drop.